Keep on my breaking my heart

I know its been a very a long time for us, not talking to each other for 3 weeks plus. Like seriously, what ever happened between us? I feel lost, really. I never expected that you guys would do this to me. Its you who made me become one of the anti-social freak. Its you who made my day seem so wrong. Oh how I wish it was always easier for me being all alone all by myself at school. Oh I wish there's a reason for me to smile at school. I wish I was stronger to face this all by myself. I wish I was perfect. I wish there's no depressed feeling inside of me. I don't know about what you feel but I do feel this is much awkward than it seems. Every time I see you laughing, I feel like you're mocking me cause I have to be all alone. Agh, fuck. I had dream about you this lately. I miss you. I miss us. I admit. But sometimes I do feel like I wanna to punch your face so damn hard so that can make you realize that I really am exist for fuck sake. Agh for how long you want this to keep going on? I asked your boyfriend then he said you wanna say that you're sorry but you're TOO SHY TO ADMIT. FUCK, YOU'RE JUST AN EGO MANIAC LAH CB! But that was 2 WEEKS AGO. I waited till nothing happen. Faiz wants me to say that I'm sorry to her. Like hello, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't me who started this. Then he said that I just need to keep calm. Hmm for how long? I can't take this any longer like seriously. Its not like I desperately want a friend. I just want explanations from you why did you treated me like this. Its okay you don't want to be friend with me anymore but please at least tell me what's wrong. Agh fuck you, immature, narrow minded friends